Winter Garden Wizard Gifts

"I've replanted the hanging basket with flowers that'll survive the coming winter. . .They're plastic."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

Rose Garden

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

Boy rolled into a snowball

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

'That plant food really works!'

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

'Be sure to ask George about his tomatoes.'

Hydroponic Gardening

"Have you seen my hot water bottle?"

"If my calculations are correct, we'll finally have the answer to looking cute in the winter!"

"At first I was homesick....now I'll probably be campsick for awhile!"

Bazzini & Sons Lawn Service: 'We don't cut corners'.

Leaf rake - wider than space

You're not selling those silly upside-down tomato contraptions? I confess. They're fun! Fun? They're an affront to mother nature and common sense. A $3 seed packet grows enough for five families. Why sell over-priced fads? Mother nature never offered to pay my rent.

"I wonder why the kids named me Mourinho? I hope it's not because I'll only last a few days..."

'War is heck!'

Snowman melted by coffee

Artificial flowers.

'Am I shivering or giggling?'

"Well, for starters, you’re holding the shovel all wrong."

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.

I lost 10 pounds during that last thaw...but it was all water weight.

Old people asking a bear how to hibernate to try and avoid the winter heating bills.

'This corner of the garden's a bit of a subtropical micro-climate actually...'

'We need to discuss Jonathan's future in snow sculpture class.'

Winter rabbit spoiling winter fun

Gardener's Calendar: January - Look for some out-of-the-way corner and start your compost heap.

The Gardener's Calendar: Your snowdrops will be looking their best now.

WHOA!! If you try hard enough, you can open them!