Winter Funster Gifts

Clever dog.

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

Snowprov

Cheeze Wiz.

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"No, Doris, not implants!"

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

'Look, honey, the baby's got your mouth.'

"Frankly, I'm surprised that at your age you would even consider putting your tongue on a frozen metal pole!"

'No honey, you can't sell him on ebay.'

Boy accidentally hits a man with a snowball

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"You spoil that boy."

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

Snowman and stickmen losing arms

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'