Winery Tours T-Shirts

"Drinking? Who's drinking? I'm antioxidizing."

'Why is the jacuzzi full of grapes?'

Wine Lady

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Pete Townshend Vineyards

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'A cheeky red?'

Yoga for Alcoholics

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

Sauvignon Bonk

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

Bubbly

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

French wine

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'