Wine Uncorking Expert T-Shirts

"I can have wine on this new diet if i exercise. . ."

In the Guru District

The Vineyard

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Pasta

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Portfolio, 2011

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

'I prefer to do absolutely nothing on holiday....otherwise the shock's too much when I get back.'

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'

"My word, this really is impressive! Lots of people have a personal trainer but a personal wine advisor, wow!"

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

"At last! Something that goes well with us!"

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

'That's a tough question. I suppose I should be served with a dry red.'

'Did you hear? We have a new slogan: Artisan-crafted wine made the old-world way.'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'Really, Bob, the Wine Fairy?'

"My husband makes this wine."

"The fifth wine has bright apple and pear notes, with just the barest hint of a blinding headache."

A Good Year.

"What would you serve with toast?"

'What goes with leftovers?' 'I have a bottle of dregs here someplace.'