Wine Menu Explorer T-Shirts

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

The Vineyard

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'Whatever he's eating.'

Coffee Menu

Coffee

Portfolio, 2011

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup