Wine List Explorer T-Shirts

'I can take your full-bottle order - he only handles splits.'

In the Guru District

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

Wine taster with mineral water

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

"My word, this really is impressive! Lots of people have a personal trainer but a personal wine advisor, wow!"

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

"At last! Something that goes well with us!"

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

Wine: New & Old!!!

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

'The bouquet is reminiscent of rubber nose - but then, it always is...'

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

'Frank, it's water.'

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

"What would you serve with toast?"

'He's judging our reserve pinot noir - five years to produce it, five seconds in his mouth.'

'In order to be the king's permanent wine taster, you only have to be able to do 3 things: drink, swallow...and live.'

IRS, 'Yes, but in order to deduct it, you have to be a LICENSED wine-taster.'

A Good Year.

"The fifth wine has bright apple and pear notes, with just the barest hint of a blinding headache."