Wine Maverick T-Shirts

'It's a remarkably accessible wine - £2.99 a bottle from Lidl.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Vineyard

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'A cheeky red?'

Yoga for Alcoholics

Sauvignon Bonk

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Bacchus.

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"He gets easily abstracted."

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"I think it stopped breathing."

'Man...You age great!'