Wine Critic Pillows

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

'Don't tell me, I know this one. Is it wine?'

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

'I've tried it - it's a 94.3829366, at best.'

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

'Close enough, the one on your right is the red. Congratulation! You're our new wine critic.'

"Any advance on 'cat wazz'?

Wine taster getting drunk

"Listen up, everybody—Charles is going to fill us in about the Grenache grape."

'Really, Bob, the Wine Fairy?'

Red Wine, White Wine and The One In The Middle.

'Wine's supposed to be flat, sir.'

'Hmmm...the aroma of tennis balls? Hard court, or clay?'

'Grisly? That's being a bit harsh, Paul, though I do admit it's a bit rough around the edges.'

"Waiter, this wine is corked!"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"That's between me and my vintner."

Red Wine

Wine tasting

'Could I just get one that's wine flavored?'

'White zinfandel? I said I wanted a bottle of wine for my birthday.'

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

'Enjoy?...How?'

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

Don Quixote

Chateau Générique.

"Oh My God - surely the finest varietal themed stemware I've ever tasted from."

"If I'd wanted to taste strawberries and summer fruits I'd have asked for fruit squash."

The Wine Buff

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

'Whatever happened to swirl, sniff and taste?'

'Yes, please, go on and on about the interaction between the wine's bouquet and the various inner parts of your nose.'

"Would Sir care to read about the wine?"

'What were you saying a minute ago, about not being able to judge a wine by its label?'

'According to the wine critic for The Herald, this is the biggest fucking wine book he's ever seen.'