Wine And Dine Appreciator T-Shirts

Champagne coming from a hole in a shoe.

'A cheeky red?'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

Pasta

Grandma's caf

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"Great coffee, Carole."

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

"Fruity nose, hints of wild cherry, soothing on the palate, goes well with cough and cold."

Recycling bottle bank.

"And then, suddenly, it was 3 P.M., and she hadn't really got anything done."

Red Wine

"Would madam like to sniff the resealable cap?"

You are simply the Greatest

"This time when they show us their latest acquisition, we'll gush regardless."

Wino Appreciation Group

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"This is a big wine. I recommend you order some big food."

Wine and Cheese

'Okay, that's 4 for the Malbec, 3 for the Chianti and 2 for the Merlot. You want to go with that, or wait for the write-in votes?'

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

"Put me through to City Stockbrokers please."

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

'What have you got in the way of an imported red that has a label that doesn't look like my cat drew it?'

Eye of Newt (evidently the favored hamburger condiment for witches)

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

Two champagne bottles fight in a headlock

"The fifth wine has bright apple and pear notes, with just the barest hint of a blinding headache."