Wine And Dine Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Can you recommend a wine that goes well with red meat, Zanex, and Lipitor?'

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Sauvignon Bonk

Bacchus.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'