Wilderness Trainer T-Shirts

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

City Zoo: Day Care

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Support Group for a Good Problem

Sausages.

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

Deer Season Open.

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

Sport Utility Boot.

Monkey-artist

"Looks like those folks from 'civilization' are back!"

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

"All right, boys, we're had our fun."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"Touché"

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

Save the unicorn.

"Lori, out here it's my kitchen!"

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

"Go ahead if you want to: Me, I'll wait for the bears to be sated before I risk it..."

Fred's Canadian caribou hunt goes from bad to worse.

"Catching him was easy. Getting him through the cat door....Now that's another story."