Wig Whisperers Pillows

Captain Pointy No.34 - Wig spotting

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Polly txt speak

Children's Parties

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

I guess she had other plans for you.

The Worm Charmer

Wolf Karaoke

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

Collies Without Borders

"This never happened."

Raised by Dogs

'okay...where did you hide it?'

Bassoons.

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

'Do worms feel pain? Of course not! As a matter of fact...'

'Don't worry about getting lost, folks. These trails are all well marked. . . if I do say so myself.'

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

"Yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde thing is weird, but if I play it right, I get fed twice."

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

'I could eat you.'

"Always carry a ball with you! If you are chased by a dog, stop, show the ball and throw it. Believe me, he won't be able to resist chasing it instead of you..."

'I don't think Marmaduke has ever seen a vegetarian before.'

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"You're completely screwed up."

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

Sorry, I only eat organic, fair-trade, shade-grown, biodynamic, raw dirt.

But it's the other leg that hurts.

'Don't make such a fuss woman, he's only a puppy!'

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'