Wig Comedian Gifts

Man's Hair Flies Off When Doctor Tests His Reaction

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

"With strong winds battering the country, the Met Office have issued an amber wig wearers warning."

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

"Of course, it's MY hair - I've still got the receipt!"

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

"I don't care what you think: it's cool, it's sexy, and I feel totally empowered."

Applause

'He wants some hair restorer for his birthday.'

"I thought I'd try a Marie Antoinette for a change."

"If I'd known, I would've changed my vows to; Until bald and fat do we part."

You may have hired the best lawyer but I don't think that you can sue God because of a downgoing Dow Jones, sir.

'I thought up the term 'too big to fail'. So where's my bonus?'

Have you hugged your money today?

'Please restore all toupees to upright position.'

Cover story: Oil Workers Monthly.

A Head-Dress in 1777

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

"Closed until further notice."

"That wig makes you look 10 years sillier!"

'...But I confessed to Oprah...isn't that in there?'

'Forget it - the nearest wi-fi hot spot is in Rangoon.'

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

'Yeah, my head gets cold, too, but the hat sends the wrong message.'

"How do you tell the Son of God He's got spinach in his teeth?"

'I'm sorry but you obviously don't believe in God because you didn't forward the religious emails to 10 or more people in your address book.'

Oh U! The German Periscoper: "Ach Himmel! Dot most be der peutiful Ben Nevis of vich ve 'ave 'eard so mooch!"

"All in favor of toupees, say aye."

'One reason I like hanging out with you is you give me so many good ideas for my sermons.'

1784: Wigs are all the rage

'Thanks for the thought but we can't accept lottery tickets.'