Whittling Gifts

Woodworkers Club Meeting, Room 23. Splinter Group, Room 24.

Eightysomething

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

'What ever happened to whittling?'

Accountants around the campfire.

Caveman whittles with bird

"Son, you're old enough now to whittle your own condom."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

Boy whistling at crackers.

Cat's golfing with a ball of yarn.

'Another nice wave.'

"I pulled a few strings to get you this job, Simmons. Don't spend your day playing with them."

"She does this when she's tired."

Whittlers Mother

'This one is very effective. It sounds just like a can opener.'

'Catch any good mice lately?'

"So...what are you in for?"

"She doesn’t fetch or roll over or anything really, but she’s a terrific whistler."

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"

'Because it's the only thing that still whistles at me. That's why I keep it.'

Grim reaper calls on egg.

'I love the mornings...'

Boy blowing at crackers.

"I like to be disciplined about my writing, sharpening my pencils and organising my desk in the morning which leaves me time for writers block after lunch and a nervous breakdown in the evening."

'So far, I've lost three pounds on the Ratkins Diet!'

'Chew each bite ten times? †I'm a busy man!'

Whistles

"What's up? It's been aeons since you last whistled 'Old Buttermilk Sky.' "

Have yourself a Merry 'Wittle' Christmas!

Neat Trick.

'Nope, still can't whistle.'

Testing dog whistles.