White-collar Crime Humorist Pillows

"I'm sorry, Mr Weinstock can't see you at the moment - he's on the run."

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

'Henderson makes money the old fashioned way - White collar crime.'

"White Collar Prison"

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

Hellbillies.

The Mafia Goes Green.

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

"What a great day to be alive and not under indictment."

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

"At last, a country that welcomes poor refugees like me..."

"I'm investigating the theft of a breadcrumb by an ant matching your description."

"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us."

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

'Dad, somehow I got into the IRS files.'

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

"I've given him your message. If you'll just take a seat, he'll be out in a moment with his hands up."

'Let this guy go. He's working under cover.'

'Hello, Mum!'

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

"I suggest we continue to treat everything as allegations until we all have to plead guilty."

"I tried to rob a bank and failed! I tried to steal an old ladies bag and failed! So why not use as my defense, the old saying, 'You can't blame a person for trying'?"

Cuffwear, 2004

"Very well done, Samuels. But next time, don't forget your handcuffs."

'Relax - we'll blame it on Curiosity.'

". . . but, it will be great to see the old gang."

Police artist drawing a snarling dog while an injured cat desribes him

Department of Commerce, Economic Forecasting, Division of Estimates & Alibis

'Of course, you'll be paid a generous scapegoat bonus.'

"In the movie about the New York prison escapees, I'd like to see Jack Nicholson as Richard Matt and Woody Harrelson as David Sweat."

"I did warn you it wouldn't pay!"