White Collar Crime Humor Fan Pillows

Felony State Bank

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

'Henderson makes money the old fashioned way - White collar crime.'

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

'Not much cop are you!'

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

"At last, a country that welcomes poor refugees like me..."

'I'm hoping to get into Crime Sprees.'

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

Decision on the flip of a coin...

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

'Okay, I'll give you the money, but this could negatively affect your credit rating.'

"I've given him your message. If you'll just take a seat, he'll be out in a moment with his hands up."

Therapy among thieves

The Codfather.

"Do you recognise the giraffe who hit you?"

New York City, the Bronx, and another successful Vice Squad raid comes to wraps (real vices used for arresting criminals).

Good Mop, Bad Mop.

"I suggest we continue to treat everything as allegations until we all have to plead guilty."

'He's working undercover to find out 'what up' with youth gangs.'

"What we're going to say to the jury is 'Love the embezzler. Hate the embezzlement."

"Tommy, when ya gonna start doing your own laundry?"

'I want you to go give those Herrings a warning to stay off our turf... leave this packet of chips on their doorstep.'

'Donut shop is down the hall to your right - and I'm not answering any more questions without my lawyer present.'

'Police? I'm being stalked.'

"I'm sorry, Mr Weinstock can't see you at the moment - he's on the run."