White-collar Jokester Pillows

'Oh, for heaven's sake, put the gun away. We're white-collar criminals. We can't just shoot it out with the cops.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

He likes to make work fun

'When I say we all need to make sacrifices, I, of course, didn't mean us.'

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

"And this is my junior partner, my son, Ira."

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

'Thank you, Leo. Nothing like a roar to get us going in the morning.'

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

'You're one heck of a corporate head-hunter, Ms. Bridwell.'

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

"White Collar Prison"

"And, of course, this is when all our loose change fell out of our pockets."

"This is Mr Johnson, the man who works under me."

'Assume the position, Caruthers. I'm going to frisk you for a good idea.'

"No, I said go knock yourself out."

'Salary requirement? -- Just keep me out of the top two percent.'

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

Waste Management.

'In dog years, I have seniority.'

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

"This little snow globe isn't just a paperweight...it was the original business model!"

'Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the people who have to work with you.'

"I know eight hours sleep a day is normal... but not at work!"

'Hello, parent company? -- the guy at the next desk keeps LOOKING at me!'

"Whoa. Nap time again. Meeting adjourned."

"I.T. says these new laptops they gave us come loaded with all the latest viruses."

Hellbillies.

'Because I'm the boss. That's why I'm so bossy.'