White Coat Comedian Gifts

Medical Treatment.

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

'If we were in the Renaissance, we'd be painting nativity scenes right now.'

Toothless Meal

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'I would have come to you sooner, but you hadn't graduated from medical school yet.'

'If they don't laugh, we'll say it's art.'

Are you sure you're not holding your breath?

"What a great day to be alive and not under indictment."

'Dad, somehow I got into the IRS files.'

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

Monet At Open Mic Night

'No! Not the second pair of gloves...'

'I've had my eye on you, Johnson, you really know how to scurry about aimlessly.'

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

"I suggest we continue to treat everything as allegations until we all have to plead guilty."

'If that's true, if you've really done it, I can say unequivocally, that is indeed...Nothing to sneeze at!'

Ye Olde FIgure-Drawing Classe

Manhole Warning

'You're putting that saddle on backwards.' - 'How do you know which way I'm going?'

'Of course, you'll be paid a generous scapegoat bonus.'

"I'm hoping that once we enter the Bronze Age I'll be able to get a better likeness of you."

"Making millions through insider trading wasn't a problem, hiding it from the I.R.S. was."

Eggskimos: Eskimos in the form of Eggs.

"You're not really getting this whole mask thing, are you, Bob?"

Bob Becket HMS Pinafore

"Just stopping by to say I'm still ignoring you."

Tolerate thy neighbour

Graduation Cap Trash Bin

The Hand Puppet's Dinner

Many Burps