Whiskey Whisperer T-Shirts

"I actually prefer same sex - as long as it doesn't involve sex."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"To shuffle off this mortal coil in some saloon- it was his dream."

"I'm not a mean drunk—I'm just damned insensitive."

"Please welcome Big Alcohol."

"Impossible as it may seem, Fred, the fate of the world depends on this drink and six or seven more just like it."

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

"For the last time...where did you hide my Scotch?"

'I have my scotch and soda clock.'

Gentleman's Club Scene

"I make sure I age my whiskey."

"I'm drinking far too much. Last Saturday night I overindulged and left a 500 dollar tip."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Nothing beats the love of a good cat.

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

My other cello is a Stradivari

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

Violin Practise

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

Cat Zoom Meeting

"Sure, it's been a tough quarter, but somehow we always land on our feet."

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

"People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal."

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"