Whip Wizard Gifts

"She got a brand new whip for her birthday."

The Vineyard

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

Candle Portraits.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'Rollin', rollin', rollin',...keep them dogies rollin'...'

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

Portfolio, 2011

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

"That's the Bronco Whisperer. He'll have that wild stallion broken in a day or two."

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

A few post-Christmas options for Santa.

Psychic car mechanics.

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'This one is very effective. It sounds just like a can opener.'

'So Roger, how's your invention going?'

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

"And that's when I realized that I much preferred making frothy desserts."

'Really, Bob, the Wine Fairy?'

"My husband makes this wine."

"It's a nice invention, but what about GRIDLOCK?"