Whimsical Worker Gifts

"No matter where I work, it's always the same thing: They only love you as long as the magic's working!"

Interviewer reads Clown's CV and a custard pie pops out.

"Head office wants us to wear these until our corporate iamge improves."

He had a report due at 3...or was it 4? Darn, he wished someone hadn't put a toy on his desk!

Bureaucrats on a windmill.

"Can you come back next week? He's napping."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"We try to keep it light-hearted in this office. Otherwise, you patients would depress the hell out of us."

"No experience preferred...we will train!"

'Living in the hive isn't so bad, except that the Queen can be a real stickler for compliance.'

Chimney Sweep

'All those against, raise your hand. All those in favor of ice cream, scream.'

"We stir the brew all morning, Marissa comes in whenever, stirs the brew for an house, takes a smoke break, goes on her phone, we stir the brew, do some chanting, the sun comes up, whatever, we're still stirring, Marissa's on her phone again, and I'm, like, 'Seriously, Marissa?'"

'Well, thanks for coming in. We'll get back to you.' The search for Big Foot continues.

'Running away from the circus to join the world of accountancy isn't working out as I expected. . .'

'Not now Susan - I'm busy.'

'But you said it would be all right to have an executive toy.'

"I don't get stock options and the hours are terrible. But there's a chocolate river. So that's sick."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Polly doesn't want THAT cracker."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

Swan Fairy Tales

Lactose Intolerant

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'Are you made of sugar?'

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

Dogs and their thoughts

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"Little help?"

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.