Whimsical Jurist T-Shirts

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

"I said slime."

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"We, the jury, find the defendant."

"Impartiality becomes you."

The Nihilist Deli.

'Sheep striptease'.

'There's a teddy and a pony... and that one looks like medulla oblongata!'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

'Judge Mental.'

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

Factory Recall Unicorn.

'See? Tantor like Jane -- he want Jane give belly rub!'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

Snowman Tattoo

Judge

"You said a moment ago that everybody you look at seems to be a rabbit. Now just what do you mean by that, Mrs. Sprague?"

'Disqualified!... He did not yell 'Boing' when he jumped!'

'Wow...you must have had a really bad day, eh, mate?'

"Happiness is not readily transmittable from bluebirds to humans."

'Hey, can I have your frequent flier points?'

"Is really wet, here!"

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

"We all make mistakes, as Your Honor knows, having been twice reprimanded by the New York State Commission on Juridical Conduct."

"O.K., O.K., house arrest."

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

"Oh, Bruno! Just look at the subtle hues in those tulips!"

"Unexpected item in the bagging area..."

"Do you really think you need therapy or do you just want to get on a couch?"