Whimsical Home Designer Pillows

"After the kids moved out I had the house redesigned to reflect the real me."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

'The roof needs icing.'

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

'It started out as a little tree house for the kids and we kept adding on to it.'

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

Mouse real estate!

'It's a coffee-book table.'

'I wasn't to know it's a live shell officer, we've been using it as a door-stop for years!'

'I told you I didn't want to talk about it!'

Shop for cats

Pam collected ceramic pigs. Just one so far, but even that seemed like too many.

Superintendent

"See, that's your problem right there - the roof is mostly sugar."

'I'm sorry, but you're in violation of building codes. You can only use sugar free gum here.'

Arctic Snails.

Home Sweet Home.

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

"The decorator was here. He said we should have a room in which we don't sit down."

Uses for Deactivated Missiles: Objects d'Art

"Are you willing to relocate?"

'A Dust Cow'.

How the cords get all tangles up when you're away.

The Arcimboldo Arrangement

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

"So does George still enjoy his woodworking?"

'I'm the good witch, and this is my house - made entirely out of dental care products.'

"Yes, our dishwasher is a smart appliance. But, you still have to actually put the dishes in it."

"No, this is the elephant."