Whimsical Historians Gifts

"We thought it would be more fun than just walking the plank."

The Artist

"You're on a what?!"

Archimedes statue with a lever

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

Selfie Stick

Girl to boy: 'If flowers could fly, they'd be butterflies.'

Two birds sharing a bowl of worms.

"Let's have some fun kids, he says, let's play Easter Island."

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

"It's nowhere near as far away as we thought!"

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"I keep having these funny moods, doctor."

"Professor, this changes everything."

'Okay, Noah...I'm going to tell you again. Listen very carefully this time.'

"This does not make us friends."

'Cat Lit. You?'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"Blog always makes it all about Blog."

A mermaid is on a rock at the sea: A mermaid falls in lover with her upper half and a shark falls in lover with her lower half.

The Nihilist Deli.

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

'There's a teddy and a pony... and that one looks like medulla oblongata!'

"... No, when I say, 'you must let go of the past' I mean you must return that vase to the museum you took it from."

'We knew of your return from your round the world trip - we could smell you a mile away!'

'Like us, the Hula Hoop will never go out of style.'

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

Ransom Library. Oh, that's just Henry … He's a history buff. Wild West.

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

"But I don't have any wishes related to food or squirrels."

'There's a teddy and a pony... and that one looks like the medulla oblongata!'

A caveman attempting to make a cart