Wheat T-Shirts

Gluten Cafe - For the rest of us.

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

City Zoo: Day Care

"Bond James, Bond."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Grace For Flies

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

I like the Jets...I guess

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"They grow up so fast."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

Children's Parties

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Cry babies.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Santa Claus's Mail

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

'Ahhh...'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'I told you it would be useful.'