Western Wistful T-Shirts

'I don't know why they call it the "Wild West"! It's more like the "Boring West" for us right?'

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"It's not a good sign when cowboys start waving back to the cacti!"

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

The Not So Wild West

"I dunno ... I get the feeling this is going to end very badly."

Cowboy:'DRAW!' - Two Cowboys about to fight it out using their Pencils and Paper pads.

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

"Say, you were right, Sheriff, this is the best way to keep up with the 'Space-Hopper Gang'."

Sea Horse outside saloon

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

No one ever discovered Mad Jake's secret: he was taking a correspondence course in interior decoration.

'I hate reruns.'

'I don't feel at home on the range.'

"Is it just me or are wagon wheels smaller than they used to be?"

"No one rides off into me anymore."

"Don't try to understand them, just ride and rope and brand them."

1839: Rare photograph of wagons on the 'Organ Trail.'

Cowboy on horse sees diretion sign for 'thataway'.

'Suzy, I hate to break the news to you like this, but there's a good reason why your new boyfriend doesn't fit in amongst the townsfolk too well...Yes Suzy. He's a Notorious Outlier.'

'I don't feel at home on the range any more!'

Coulda Woulda Shoulda.

Cowboy Acupuncture

"Careful how ya handle 'em Joe! They like to follow one another but they kin also turn nasty mighty quick!"

Children must be accompanied by an adult.

"What ever became of the days, Béla, when we all used to dance with wild abandon by the firelight."

'I could have sworn you asked if I wanted to go to the saloon.'

A cowboy on a computer receiving his 'gee gee mail'

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

"This gown just ain't big enough for the both of us."

Two clowns shoot out a duel in a Western - One has a gun that says 'Bang!', the other has a gun that says 'Ouch!'

'Whoa, whoa, buddy, we don't serve no pickled eggs here.'

'The streets of Dodge City fell eerily quiet as the market researchers strode into town.'