Western Whimsy Gifts

'The streets of Dodge City fell eerily quiet as the market researchers strode into town.'

Cowboy Acupuncture

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

Young Gums

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

The lame cowboy with spurs on his crutches.

"I dunno ... I get the feeling this is going to end very badly."

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

The Not So Wild West

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

Sea Horse outside saloon

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"Say, you were right, Sheriff, this is the best way to keep up with the 'Space-Hopper Gang'."

Cowboy:'DRAW!' - Two Cowboys about to fight it out using their Pencils and Paper pads.

No one ever discovered Mad Jake's secret: he was taking a correspondence course in interior decoration.

'You think you're better than me, don't you?'

"Is it just me or are wagon wheels smaller than they used to be?"

Another Truism Bites the Dust.

'Suzy, I hate to break the news to you like this, but there's a good reason why your new boyfriend doesn't fit in amongst the townsfolk too well...Yes Suzy. He's a Notorious Outlier.'

Probably should have cleared my bookshelf before the zoom call...

Children must be accompanied by an adult.

"What ever became of the days, Béla, when we all used to dance with wild abandon by the firelight."

"Careful how ya handle 'em Joe! They like to follow one another but they kin also turn nasty mighty quick!"

"The Vesparados"

"Yes, I can help you with your loan questions. I'm the loan arranger."

'I have nothing against the old standard. But I get more laughs with the bolo tie.'

'I could have sworn you asked if I wanted to go to the saloon.'

A cowboy on a computer receiving his 'gee gee mail'

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

'Just had to text and ride, didn't you?'

"This gown just ain't big enough for the both of us."

'Whoa, whoa, buddy, we don't serve no pickled eggs here.'

"Know what? I'm not wearing any yogawear."