Western Riding Gifts

'Everybody, but Jake's horse, was glad he'd given up smoking.'

It's an import!

Billy. The Kid.

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"Move ten paces, turn, then fire. Ready?" "Dibs on the hat."

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

'This is rodeo history! No one's ever stayed on the Dancing Bronco this long!'

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

Deliboys

A boy dressed as a cowboy riding a stick horse encounters a stick with a cow's skull at the end lying on the ground.

'Mama! Aliens.'

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"Only one of us can be 'The Funny One'."

"Wilson, you're still using those training wheels?!"

'Roy Rogers is ambused'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

'They are known as 'The Magnificent Seven'!'

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

Cowboy Snowman: 'DRAW!' Two Cowboy Snowmen about to fight it out using their hot air Hairdryers

'Man! I wish I'd finished college.'

"Well of course you're depressed... You're a country and western singer."

"..Not cloudy all day."

"Sorry, Zak, since paintball aint bin invented yet, looks like you bin shot!"

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

'I hate reruns.'

Jesse wished the kids would just get it over with and guess all the wrong letters in his name.

Tyrannosaurus Tex

"I'm sleeping in today. I got in late from last night's orgy."

I think of "The Fusco Brothers" as a modern-day "Bonanza." Only instead of four cowboys, we have four bums, and instead of a cook named Hop Sing, we have a wolverine named Axel. Is there a term for this fantasy? "Ponderosa Nervosa."

'I don't feel at home on the range.'

'What about high noon? Is high noon good for you?'

1839: Rare photograph of wagons on the 'Organ Trail.'

'I don't feel at home on the range any more!'

"Keep your eyes open, pardner, this is Apache country!"

"Singing cowboy AND notary public"