Werewolf Mythos Fan Gifts

Wolfman kit.

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

Warrior Woman

I sometimes feel spotted, but I never really feel seen.

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

'Harvey, did you notice what a beautiful full moon we have tonight?'

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"OK-WHO THREW THAT..??

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"You think you're a monster because you have poor self image."

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I always knew you'd come back."

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

"He never passes by without a mischievous smile."

Traffic Cone Monsters

'Well, 2012 is the year of the dragon, after all!'

'Now that's what I call a really old tree!'

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Going Down?