Welcoming A New Coworker Gifts

"Hope you like working here. You'll find this place runs like clockwork!"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

Polly txt speak

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

Santa Claus's Mail

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Women Supporting Women!"

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

Do Not Resuscitate

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

Golfing Boss

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Team Leader

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

'Steak Ted?'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

Employee won't think about work outside of box

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!