Weights And Measures Wizard Gifts

'Your head weighs 26 pounds, same as your feet.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

Counting part time employees is the new math.

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

'Fitness guru.'

Took On Too Much

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

I love maths.

"The economic modeling of our economic modeling suggests we need to remodel."

Old MacDonald had a data farm. AI AI O.

"Wow! Good news - the line is getting shorter!"

'McWit, did you forget to pay the gravity bill this month again?'

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

'We've always needed an accounting magician.'

'Don't ask how much your hospital bill is because we have no way of knowing.'

The night before the big meeting Frank receives a visit from the PowerPoint Fairy

'It seems that their databank has all the information that's in our databank, plus information that's not in our databank, plus information about our databank.'

"Well the GOOD news is that if we carry on like this there's a SMALL chance we'll be making a profit in less than 4587 years!"

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

'If you don't believe me, maybe you'll believe the brainy looking exec with the floe chart.'

'...and then you smile and say...all together now...'that's not deductible.'.'

"There's a lot of volatility in the market right now. It's a really exciting time to be in graphs."

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

'Bureau of Statistics'

"This looks like a job for ... someone else."

Gymnasts

Deepseek

'Say what you like about Cloud Computing, but the technical support is amazing.'