Weight Loss Explorer Pillows

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

'I've discovered a new diet. I can eat as much as I like but I'm not to swallow.'

'In just four days it's taken three and a half inches off my waistline.'

Health spa...

Before/After

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

Nutritional Supplements.

"My diet book is outselling yours."

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

"Cardiac day patients?"

'Wouldn't it be easier if we just got more heavier friends?'

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

'The good news is that our latest diet products work fabulously well. The bad news is that we haven't got any customers any more!'

"Hey guys, I'm thinking about going vegetarian."

"We've gone glutton-free."

"Well. It DOES make you look thinner."

"I can fit you into a small cubicle on the third floor if you think you can lose twenty pounds."

Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potpourri.

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do count against your diet.

Turn on the news. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story. There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on Rocky Road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills. Who told you this? Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy.

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

'I know why Max has suddenly turned vegetarian: His new girlfriend is a Fruit-Bat...'

'Why did you switch doctors?', 'The last one was too skinny.'

"The diet seems to be working."

'It's not our wine list. It's a list of gastroenterologists.'

'Oh ya! I didn't tell you guys. I'm a vegetarian now.'