Weekend Fun Gifts

'Excuse me, Miss, are you spewing your guts up responsibly?'

'Thank goodness it's Friday!'

Clubbing

Friday is "Behave Like A Wild Animal" night.

Sir, I seem to have misplaced my toupee. Young man, there's hair in my soup! Thank goodness it's the weekend. There's soup in my hair!

'Is it Saturday, already?'

It's going to be a long evening. Pull up a bed.

At the car wash

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"This place has the best happy hour."

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

I could have danced all night!

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

Thank God It's Friday.

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'

Relaxing on a sofa

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

If you're looking for a good time, you'll find it; if you can't find it, it will find you....

But MOM! It's no fair being sick on a Saturday! Can't I take a rain check and be sick on Monday?

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'I should have told you, every Friday senior partners get to do the Prosecco Polonaise.'

"105% of the staff who completed 84% of the process were 95% sure that it was a 100% waste of time."

Do-it-yourself. Do-it-yourself-with-good-friends-and-pizza-and-a-few-beers.

White Wine Wisdom (2)

"Now, before we go, does anyone have to empty their cache?"

'I told you that chicken wasn't cooked!'

"...Bug bites, barbecue and lawn mower...and you?"

"Hey, Gary. Lois wanted to know if you’re up for waiting forever for reheated leftovers and sipping warm mimosas intended to ease the pain of poor service amid a cacophony of idiot tourists and 20-year-olds... you know, brunch."

"What'll it be ... scary movies or scary news?"

'Something for the weekend?Not with this haircut!'

'Fancy doing a Motorway this weekend?'

'That very mild cheese was butter.'

Demon in the elevator. Man says: 'Sorry, are you going up or down?'