Wee Bit Worried Pillows

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

'I did it all from memory.'

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

"Give it to me straight, doc. Will I outlive social security and medicare?"

"Oh, great. The bunny runs away and lives high on the hog on my tax dollars. Next!"

"I woke up early, took a shower, got dressed for work then remembered I don't work today."

"Hey, Gary. Lois wanted to know if you’re up for waiting forever for reheated leftovers and sipping warm mimosas intended to ease the pain of poor service amid a cacophony of idiot tourists and 20-year-olds... you know, brunch."

The Circle.

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

'I don't worry about anything. My Mom does all the worrying for me.'

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

'Stan, perhaps you can stop into my office on Monday. I don't want to ruin your weekend.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

Credit Crunch.

"They'll come home. They're microchipped."

"My arthritis lets me know when it's going to rain, and my acid reflux lets me know when a stock market storm is rolling in."

James never left his bed, seeing nothing but danger in the financial world.

Worried about the future? We have worst-case-scenario funds!

'If that aquarium is supposed to help me relax, it's not really working.'

"I stay awake all night worrying about my insomnia, doctor!"

'Mom's really nervous because I've been good for too long.'

"No kidding. Tell me about it."

"I was thinking about what we should do this weekend, and I have a few ideas for you to reject."

"I dreamed the Yankees lost in Game Seven."

'Every Night the same dream. I have to file for chapter 11, but can't afford the filing fee!'

The pessimist and the paranoid

Expense Culture Advice.

'On the good side though, it IS close to the office!'

"And then the price of chocolate went through the roof. The end."

"...and food bills will rise after Brexit."