Wedding Tradition Enthusiast Gifts

Hernia clinic: 'You either have to quit getting married, or quit carrying your new bride over the threshold!'

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

'I always cry at weddings!'

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

Wedding disaster #27.

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

'The correct response, Tanya, is 'I do' not 'yeah, whatever'.'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

Andrew, the wedding usher from the future.

"Nobody told me it was a dress down wedding day!"

"You may now let me go try to get the sand out of my shoes and suit just in time for my next beach wedding."

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

Minister to marrying couple: 'Remember, you're under oath.'

Fairy Library - Cinderella Marries the Prince

Wedding bouquet spring loaded shoes.

Merge Ahead

'...till death, or a really huge argument over ringtones, do you part.'