Wedding Rehearsal Gifts

"Yes, I'm annoyed. This is a rehearsal, not a dress rehearsal."

"Just be yourself."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Kid uses his violin as a golf club.

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

The Happiest Hen in Acle

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

"Well, who's stupid idea was it to honeymoon on Moonlight bay?!"

'You must have one arm shorter than the other.'

One-man band rehearsal.

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

"You may now begin your insane experiment."

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

'How about this for the masked ball?'

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'That's a bit better. Persistence pays off - although, not as well as it did when I was your age.'

Exit/Missed it/Next Time Listen To Your Wife!

'I don't know about you lot but I've just played Proud Mary.'

Violinist

"He's my escort, and he's a teddy bear."

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

Three women dancing

"Here's the deal. I'll stop playing my bagpipes when you stop playing your banjo."

"I came here because my podiatrist said he couldn't help me with my cold fee."

She always had her flute... just in case.

"We start on #F."

"I can practice a different song."

Non-Jewish Events and Jewish Events

"My client doesn't have to answer that."

'We've learned to keep the mystery in our marriage -- every now and then, we put on disguises and have an affair with each other.'

Practicing the C major scale in 6 positions.