Wedding Preparation Pillows

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'You must have one arm shorter than the other.'

Everything for the Wedding.

'My strawberry cleansing cream, sesame oil skin moisturiser, and goat's milk soap have ruined my diet. At this rate I won't fit into my wedding gown.'

"I think he had the idea he was looking at costume jewelry."

"No, Matt, it wouldn’t be ‘dope’ if you rapped your wedding vows!"

"I need something to dissolve superglue that will be safe on tulle and cat fur, and that's all the information I'm prepared to offer at this time."

'To qualify for a license, you must pass the marriage test. We put you in a room with your prospective mother-in-law for 24 hours.'

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

'I need a large increase in my allowance, Dad - I'm getting married in a few weeks!'

'Honey, before you marry my son you better read the list of his side effects.'

Marriage

"It's a 'Save the Date' refrigerator magnet."

Lesbian civil partnership.

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

Try Mediation

Boat wedding.

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."