Wedding Planner's Idea Source Gifts

CartoonStock Upload

Lesbian civil partnership.

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Boat wedding.

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

"...until death do you a favor."

'He does.'

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'I always cry at weddings!'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

Wedding disaster #27.

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"