Wedding Maverick Gifts

'Do you cater weddings?' Why the groom is never put in charge of anything.

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

Targets.

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

"Every now and then, I find myself in a room filled with people who are wrong."

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

'Who wants the talking stick?'

'Clem,the doctor told you to get away and relax.'

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

'Have you any W fronts?'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"

"Anything goes today: I want this to be a free and open discussion of my entrenched positions."

'I say we try it.'

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

Management Speak - reading between the lines: "This new role would involve some extra responsibilities." "He wants me too work twice as hard."

'Beasley, you're a good communicator, look down the table and make eye contact for me!'

"We have a REALLY high turnover rate here."

"Oops! Wrong plug."

'A simple, 'profits are up', would have sufficed.'

"Your Easter bonuses are hidden throughout corporate headquarters."

"Well, I guess this rock sample pretty much clears up any lingering doubts about life on Mars!"

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

How To Cut The Defense Budget

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

'First, I'd like to welcome the presidents of the two internet networking companies that just merged with us.'

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

'Let's go around the room, and talk about the edgy, creative things we've done so far today.'

"Let's all go out & get drunk."

"Read me back the minutes from the last dip."