Wedding Humor Collector Gifts

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

A. 'That's Jones's daughter with him. She's just about to be married.' B. 'Who's the lucky man?' A. 'Jones.'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

'You may now kick the bride.'

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

'No, but thanks for asking.'

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

"His note says the bachelor party was so great, he's decided to remain a bachelor."

'And do you, Leslie Farnsworth promise to stop wearing camouflage so that your wife will know where you are?'

'Do you promise to love her in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until one day she decides to bite off your head and eat you.'

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

"I'm afraid it's 'I do' ... not 'Undo'."

When Female Leopards Marry.

'You can't just nod. You have to say, I do. Good Lord. Are all mimes this annoying, or is it just you?'

Just married.

"To begin with, he ate most of the wedding cake..."

'If someone objects to this union, tweet now or forever hold your peace...'

'Camilla, I don't mind you writing your own vows but you can't start 'Now Diana is dead...''

Trouble Ahead

"Man, I hate it when she sneaks up on me like that."

"....And are you willing to stand your mothers-in-laws' bleating until the divorce court do you apart?"

'I should warn you -- I don't have any tattoos.'

"I knew they had shot gun weddings in the wild west, but not in Milton Keynes!"

'Yes he WILL do all that - I'll see to it!'

"These oaths aren't binding all weekend are they?"

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"