Wedding Day Worrier Gifts

'Do you believe in omens?'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

Marriage least expected to last...

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

"Whoa! Was that today?"

"Till death us do part? Don't be so bloody morbid!"

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

She never could tell when he was being sarcastic.

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

Preachers with far too much input

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

'I wish you'd told me your brother worked for the Mirror before we got him to do the wedding pictures.'

"It will be a short service. We’re getting married during half-time."

'He heard the question, Reverend. He's sleeping on it.'

Marriage Ceremony

"It isn't always all about you, Cindy."

I know it was the biggest moment in your life, but honey - our wedding was six months ago.

'We can't get a divorce... we haven't paid for the wedding.'

"What do you mean 'no way'?"

"The video of our wedding now includes commentary."

"I came here because my podiatrist said he couldn't help me with my cold fee."

'It will be a big wedding, I invited all 2679 of my facebook friends,'

"Look—let's just get past today, O.K.?"

Bride getting ready for her wedding.

"Oops!"

"You may now begin venting about each other's wedding-prep behavior."

'...and despite DNA predictions of incompatibility...'

'Last seen running away from St. Paul's Church...'

'You know I hate weddings - they remind me that I went through one!'

'What will it cost me for you to elope?'

"Lookin' good...I haven't eaten in three months!"

"At least I won't have to jump out of these silly things for a living any more."

"Whoa! That's a little clingy."

"I dreamed the Yankees lost in Game Seven."