Wedding Day Multitasker Gifts

'Is this going to take long? I have a house to show in twenty minutes.'

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

Fitness Programme for babies

"I love my new tie! I'll wear it to work tomorrow." "The report'll be done shortly." "Excellent!"

Creative entrepreneur at work

'I suppose you realize that when I tell everyone back at the office about this you wont be able to tele-commute anymore.'

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

"Hey. Where the hell's my harmonica?"

In the great green room there was a pot of coffee and a red-eyed dad, too. Good Morning Moon.

"...I've only got four pairs of hands you know"

OK, so maybe we've all overscheduled our kids a little.

'I don't have time to read a book a month, what about a pamphlet club?'

Exhausted mother holds up 'Off Duty' sign.

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

One Man Band

There's so many things I should be doing that when I procrastinate, I'm multitasking.

How to play violin while reading a book...

I'd clean this place up in 10 minutes. Yeah right. What's that you say? I fold laundry in my sleep. You're talking crazy to a man who can hem his wife's stockings while baking bread. Listen up close. Before my wife got home today, I scrubbed the bathroom tile, made a peach pie, sent out thank-you notes, fixed the kids grilled cheese and repotted the begonia. Now what do you think of that, pansy!? How liberated men compete. Don't make me knit something! I will get busy on you with a dust buster.

I'm going to give each of my girlfriends a bottle of this wine for valentine's day. A port in every sweetheart!

'Technical Support. While you're on hold for the next hour, press 1 if you would like to listen to New Age Music, press 2 If you would like to listen to rap, press 3 If you would like to listen to country, press 4... '

"I just have time to make some toast, analyze its particle sizes, its density, its chemisorption..."

On Weekdays. . . On Weekends

"This exercise is good for arpeggios, scales, and biceps."

"Happy Mother's Day, Mom. And ditto for Thanksgiving and Christmas."

Trumpet Clothesline.

"I told you not to wing me at wok!"

"Some advice please... How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"Relax warrior, it's not the weekend."

Man watches TV while roasting hotdogs on rabbit ears.

A planet like ours - "...same as yeaterday ma'am. Eating all day, followed by birth to 8 million."

"Talk to me while I ignore you."

"Slow down! You're toasting your Blackberry and talking into a Pop Tart."

A football fan is distracted from cooking by a goal.

A woman types with her feet while drinking tea.