Mommy Multitaskers Gifts

Fitness Programme for babies

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

Creative entrepreneur at work

'I suppose you realize that when I tell everyone back at the office about this you wont be able to tele-commute anymore.'

Man walking a dog is passed by a runner carrying a baby on her hip.

Handbag: But You Have Kids and a Dog/But Have Kids

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

A little boy is crawling through a sandbox towards his mother as though he were dying of thirst in a desert.

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

"Okay, I'll change your diaper, but you better not tell any of my patients."

"...I've only got four pairs of hands you know"

In the great green room there was a pot of coffee and a red-eyed dad, too. Good Morning Moon.

"Hey. Where the hell's my harmonica?"

OK, so maybe we've all overscheduled our kids a little.

'I don't have time to read a book a month, what about a pamphlet club?'

How to play violin while reading a book...

'Come watch TV with me, Mom. This movie is for young and old.'

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

I'd clean this place up in 10 minutes. Yeah right. What's that you say? I fold laundry in my sleep. You're talking crazy to a man who can hem his wife's stockings while baking bread. Listen up close. Before my wife got home today, I scrubbed the bathroom tile, made a peach pie, sent out thank-you notes, fixed the kids grilled cheese and repotted the begonia. Now what do you think of that, pansy!? How liberated men compete. Don't make me knit something! I will get busy on you with a dust buster.

'When you have boys, you need 'presoak'.'

Drive-thru Day-care

I'm going to give each of my girlfriends a bottle of this wine for valentine's day. A port in every sweetheart!

Career woman meets Family woman

"We couldn't remember what practice he had tonight."

'Technical Support. While you're on hold for the next hour, press 1 if you would like to listen to New Age Music, press 2 If you would like to listen to rap, press 3 If you would like to listen to country, press 4... '

"You'll have to be both mother and father to the kids while I'm not there to give them guidance."

"It's the best darn Santa we've had in years!"

"I just have time to make some toast, analyze its particle sizes, its density, its chemisorption..."

On Weekdays. . . On Weekends

"This exercise is good for arpeggios, scales, and biceps."

"Happy Mother's Day, Mom. And ditto for Thanksgiving and Christmas."

Trumpet Clothesline.

"For the hundredth time, no, I don't know how much longer I'll be working remotely."