Wedding Crasher Pillows

"And what gives you the uneasy feeling that my workers comp claim is under investigation?"

Thank you, Thank you... One quick announcement - The owner of a large orange gourd - Please move your vehicle - You're parked on a loading zone.

'Always the usher, never the bride.'

'Let it go, man. I really don't think your ex expects you to break out to attend her wedding. I think she's moved on.'

"Well, it's not going to take all day, is it?"

'They make a lovely couple - it's a pity he wasn't the groom'.

All my friends are getting married. I'm just getting drunk.

"This isn't the Cooper wedding?"

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

"Still married?"

"If he's Parson Brown then who the heck is this joker?!?"

Second Thoughts Wedding

'My best friend threw her bouquet to me at her wedding, and I ATE it!'

"Jack'z the bestess friend. My wife still doesn't know where we'were that night..." Why we toast before we start drinking.

'Wait! The dating agency got it wrong! You should have dated me before her!'

Mouse living in a wedding cake.

'Sorry, sarge! I was trying to get an invite to the wedding!'

'Hold it everyone - it's Beckham's free kick!'

'This is Cissy Kroger who is under the impression that I also proposed to her.'

'I've heard her dog has been against this from the start.'

'The ogress shent herself at her digamy.'

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

All-Candy Seder.

Language purists bring correctness to a whole new level, forcing a name change for Ireland's most famous band.

'Don't try to sweet talk me, Eddie! You had your chance yesterday! We are through!'

'I love rock festivals!'

"Wow! This was sure one heck of a blind date!"

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

'We're too late for the Xmas Eve shindig but if you hurry we can just about make the New Year Eve one!'

"Miles... I'm going abstract!"

"He hasn't got much chance with her. She just told me to get lost, and I'm her husband!"

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

"Security was too tight to try and nick one of those Harry Potter books so we went and crashed Prince William's 21st instead."