Weaving Wizard T-Shirts

"Are. You. Ready. To. Weeeeave?"

"We only got six days of funding."

Arts and crafts

"Lovely dovetail."

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

Waiting for retirement.

'Take two eyes of newt, and call me in the morning.'

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

Targets.

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

'It was this big. I swear'

Woman knitting a washing line.

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"Most projects require three hands."

"That could've been ours. But noooo...You and your DIY."

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."

Woodpecker carves David out of tree.

"I had that dream again...the one where I'm falling."

'I told you. . . H not S!'

"This is my son...I want him to work his way up all the way from the bottom- even if it takes all day."

'I'm telling you, I don't have a good feeling about this.'

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

"At last they paid off their sub-prime fairy-tale and lived happily ever after."

'It's worse than we thought... You've got termites.'

'Ingredients: 'pine, ash, walnut, nails, insulation materials of unknown origin and all-natural asphalt shingles.'

'I hope this is not a reflection on the staff, but the management has asked me to dumb it down.'

"I enjoyed your speech. Although I was sorry to miss my children growing up."

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple