Weather Ponderer Pillows

'Dad, how comes they can tell us about the weather in 50 years but they can't do a forecast for tomorrow?'

Two Scottish men having a short conversation

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

Rock - see you in a million years!

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

Experts through the ages.

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'I say we try it.'

"I'll have dessert first."

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

Planetary Science. What do we call the study of gas giants in space? Gastronomy.

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

Fortune teller sees impending doom

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

"Apparently, over two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water!"

'He's always looking for an argument!'

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

Formula.

Fracking Zone - Be prepared for anything.

The End is Near.

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

Quiz

"I'll have to cance your appointment for next Friday. I'm going to be sick in bed with the flu."

"You're right! It is much easier to explain it this way!"

A self-filling prophecy.

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Earth, Venus, Mars … Mercury … Um, Pluto? Charon? No, Pluto … or Eris? Ugh …

'My research cover two fields: the behavior of matter under high pressure, and the behavior of scientists under high pressure.'

"We should've stayed on land, and grown feet and kicked ass."

'Dang, that reminds me...I've gotta get back and post an entry on my blog.'