Weather Jesters Pillows

'The weather was much too rotten to go to work.'

"No, Doris, not implants!"

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

'It must be a milkfish.'

Pumping up wig in blender.

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'Sorry, kids, I forgot we live in Michigan.'

'It certainly is a big one!'

"We're having a whip-round for Jane - you're next."

"The weatherman is always wrong. It'll probably end up being meteor showers."

'What do you think I'm doing? The doctor told me to collect a mid stream urine specimen."

"You're not going to eat me are you? Have you never heard of mad worm disease?"

Coast to coast walk.

"Every Christmas you make a lot of primises you never keep, why don't you become a politian."

"It's not as easy as it looks."

Bus Stop - 49 Bus Reputed Sightings.

'What with Obama and all his giveaways, I'm surprised you're still in business.'

Man flashing at a periscope in the middle of the ocean

"Run for your lives! The sea level is rising at the rate of about 1 foot per century!"

"Walter's solution is to pump a lot of fresh air into the atmosphere."

"Your 'Low On Ink' light is lit."

"Paul is a saint, Minneapolis, no way!!"

'I told you we should have read the fine print when the accountant said we'd be getting 10,000 bucks a month in our retirement.'

The wrong kind of snowman...

'I'm in favour of global warming...It speeds up foreplay. Less layers to undress.'

Bobby's dyslexia was about to bring him big trouble

Who's the wise guy!