Weather Commentator Gifts

Queen's Jubilee Pageant: 'This is the rain at Putney Bridge, this is the rain at Battersea. . .'

'Oh, bugger!'

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

A sure sign of rain

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

Winter Weather.

"I think we have run out of time..."

'Cartoonist thinking'

'Dear, you can't blame this on global warming...you overcooked the fish.'

"Since you're skiing down to the store, we could use a whole lot more steaks."

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

How Glaciations Begin

'YOU are fed up with it . . . How do you think I feel?'

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

Sports Radio in Crisis

'I blame Iceland - it's PAYBACK!'

"It really was a no-brainer, selling drilling rights at the North Pole."

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

"We've had too much rain - they don't have enough - we'll sell our rain and make millions!"

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Tree of Public Opinion.

'You don't need a weather forecast. Just read mother natures' signs carefully and you know that it will start raining soon.'

The Reason for Storms