Weather Commentator Gifts

Queen's Jubilee Pageant: 'This is the rain at Putney Bridge, this is the rain at Battersea. . .'

'Oh, bugger!'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

A sure sign of rain

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"I think we have run out of time..."

Winter Weather.

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

"Since you're skiing down to the store, we could use a whole lot more steaks."

How Glaciations Begin

'Cartoonist thinking'

'Dear, you can't blame this on global warming...you overcooked the fish.'

'YOU are fed up with it . . . How do you think I feel?'

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

Sports Radio in Crisis

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

Weather channel.

"It really was a no-brainer, selling drilling rights at the North Pole."

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Sir Patrick Moore.

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

'You don't need a weather forecast. Just read mother natures' signs carefully and you know that it will start raining soon.'

'I blame Iceland - it's PAYBACK!'

Tree of Public Opinion.

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'