Weaponry Wits T-Shirts

"My first choice, of course, is to solve things amicably."

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"Lovely dovetail."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

Nuclear Proliferation

"But I use all of them!"

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"Hold on—I'm getting information as to why these two should not be wed."

Joan of Arc goes sword shopping.

Progress?

Weapons of War Through the Ages.

A dog whose nose is a gun.

'I take it this is your first big game hunt?!!'

The Bronze Age of Television

'Don't tell anyone I asked... but why don't we have muskets?'

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

Uses for Deactivated Missiles: Objects d'Art

Ancient Weapons

'You're an interesting combination of shallow and thick.'

During a round of throwing stuff the boomerang emerges.

Really big bang

Panzer Hut.

"Can Interest you in something new?"

'I'd go small with this burglar. Way too much collateral damage with the cannon.'

Implications of the quantum wavefunction 12: 'You can never be complete safe.' Until it actually hits something a fired projectile could materialize anywhere.

"Is it just me, or does it also look to you like their resistance is feudal?"

"My brain could kick her brain's butt."