Wealth Tortoise T-Shirts

"Get rich slow"

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"Eat my dust!"

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

"At the end of the day Simon, money talks!"

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

"I've accepted that I'm getting richer."

"All those years of dodging taxes and chasing investment yield have kept me in top shape, right?"

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

'Thanks to the internet, I can telecommute a few days a week now: I don't need to waste so much time travelling...'

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

'My micro is so good it's beginning to grow into the macro.'

'Calm down darling... now what do you mean the tortoise has gone berserk?'

Brexit Tortoise

The rich, the poor and the terrorist...

"I've downsized."

"Travellin' through?"

'170 years old - and they look that age from day one!'

'Multiple personality.'

"They're perfect astronauts. Fast velocity followed by a long, slow pace."

Breaking Through

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."